Colegrove Photography
Colegrovian Empire
Bureau of Tonic

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Welcome to the Colegrovian
Bureau of Tonic

Ministry of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms & Narcotics

(open position)
Tonic Comptroller

The Bureau of Tonic administers not only the Imperial Tonic Reserve but all mixers and related consumables. Currently the B of T has administrative openings in the following areas:

  • Director of Cocktail Onions
  • Director of Cherries, Olives and Limes
  • Surveyor of Imperial Swizzle Sticks
  • Deputy Director of Fancy Toothpicks

Martini or Gibson - The Emperor Rules
The Bureau of Tonic recalled the Imperial Bar Tending Guide immediately after the Emperor ruled that "Olive or onion, I don't care. If it is made of gin and vermouth it's a Martini. With an onion it is a Gibson Martini. So if I want to call my gin and vermouth with an onion in it a Martini I can." Please discard all old issues of the Bar Tending Guide. The new one will be published shortly.

Cocktail Onion Reserves Increase
May 10, 1998
After consulting with the National Treasury the Emperor elected to aquire one 16 oz. jar of Mezzetta Cocktail Onions. The aquisiton depleted the Treasury by ^0.60.