Order of the Flat Ear The O.F.E. is presented to citizens of the Empire that have gone above and beyond the call of duty to listen to the Emperor ramble on the phone. Recipients The Duke 'd Hill Country Craig Johnson (with a cluster) (don't ask) The Ductchess of Cruz Linda Schuh For chatting with the Emperor while trying to keep the Prince of Wobble entertained and cook dinner. Lady Cobble Mary Chagnon For tolerating questions like "My computer broke. What should I do?" and "Anything interesting going on there?"

Imperial Tourisim Medal The Tourisim Medal is awarded to citizens of the Empire who tell the Emperor where he can go. Recipients Bill Ervin (second class) For his suggestion that the Emperor should visit Sedona Arizona. Second Class because all the New Age stuff in Sedona creeped the Emperor out

Imperial Retailing Medal The Retailing Medal is awarded to citizens of the Empire who keep people from purchasing suff as dumb as the things the Emperor buys. Recipients Carrie Gunst (with the That-Looks-Good-on-You Cluster) For her tireless efforts to help people recover from fashion disasters .

Order of the Garter Snake The O.G.S. is presented to anyone who does something really sneaky on behalf of the Empire. Recipients   .