Welcome to the Colegrovian Ministry
of
War and Ballroom Dance

Sally Castillo
Minister of War and Ballroom Dance

Salvation Navy Formed
Steve Wilkens was named Admiral of the Salvation Navy. The Salvation Navy's mission is to sail the earth convincing happy natives everywhere that they will burn in Hell .

Colegrovian Navy Expands
Ron Roberts was named Rear Admiral of the Sierra Nevada Fleet. The Sierra Nevada Fleet was formed to defend the Empire from alpine fish. The admiral's first duty will be to get a boat and the appropriate fishing license.

Spy Scandal Update
At a press conference earlier this month the Minister for War and Ballroom Dance, Sally Castillo, denied that the spy scandal would compromise national security. "Everyone knows we plan to Waltz into enemy territory if war breaks out. I don't see that the release of that information will hurt our plans. Our commandos are still the only military force on the globe capable of running at the enemy backwards in ball gowns and high heels. Sure, the male commandos need extra training to be able to accomplish an attack like that but they get the hang of it eventualy", stated the Minister.

Terrorists Disrupt Emperor's Birthday Celebration
A group of highly trained terrorists, infiltrated into Colegrovia, abruplty lauched into a Tango during a Cha Cha at the Emperor's Birthday Ball. They insurgents were quickly surrounded and made fun of by Imperial ballroom troops. The secret police are working to ferret out their underground dance school. "When the source of these misguided oafs is found their instructors will get a severe talking to", promised the Minister of War and Ballroom Dance.

War With Switzerland Cancled
After aditional research it was discovered that the Swiss Army has rifles, artilery, and aircraft in addition to watches and knives. This invalidates the plan to borrow some shotguns and go take their knives and watches away from 'em. It was also pointed out that Colegrovia is not only officialy neutral it is also mostly chicken, exept for the Ladies who Ballroom Dance. By way of apology, the Emperor will consider buying a spiffy Swiss watch if his old Timex ever croaks.